Bladderhead

Bladderhead and Sis
Bladderhead's adopted sister, Hannah, takes unexpected delight in Bladderhead's broken wrist.

The newest member of the family, Bladderhead, was born approximately May 18th, 2002. She's a girl (you can tell because she has brown eyes, while the males of her species have light blue eyes).

For fun, she likes to scare people by looking at them while they're trying to fall asleep, waving to people, and canoeing.

PET PEEVES: her hand keeps falling off, and honeybees, because they try to kill her and suck out all her blood (which is composed of sugar because she is photosynthetic) .

Current Reading Recommendations:
Don Quixote by Miguel De Cervantes
The Williams-Sonoma Catalog

Bladderhead is slow to respond to email because of her easily-broken wrist. But if you insist, she can be reached here.

Bladderhead and Other Sis
Eliza (Bladderhead's other adopted sister) and Bladderhead share a quiet moment just before Bladderhead gushes all over her shirt. Bladderhead has no sphincter and, therefore, no control over when she wets. Bummer!

Build a Bladderhead in NINE (not very hard but time-consuming) STEPS!

Materials: You're going to need: 

  1. 1. a 5" Styrofoam ball

  2. 2. Many packages of green pipecleaners (preferably dark green)
  3. 3. 48 inches or so of thick wire
  4. 4. a wirecutter
  5. 5. ten to twelve tissues
  6. 6. tape
  7. 7. a square of tan clay
  8. 8. a bit of green clay
  9. 9. paper
  10. 10. a permanent marker
  11. 11. a good pair of scissors
  12. 12. A bag (tan plastic) from somewhere that starts with a B or a W, I forget which.
  13. 13. And a glue gun.
  14. 14. And very strong cuticles. 

  15. Are we ready to begin? Good! 

1. Cut all the pipecleaners into pieces 3/4"-1" long, except for one piece. Stick a piece of pipecleaner into the styrofoam so that about 1/2" of it is sticking up. Stick one next to it, and other next to it. Repeat until the styrofoam ball is covered like a forest in pipecleaners, except leave spots for the eyes and mouth and bladder to go. The bladder is where the eyes are, except on the opposite side of the head.

2. Now that you've done that, take a fourteen inch piece of wire, and bend it in half so that there is an inch in between the sides. Take tissues (2-4, it depends on the ply) and stuff them between the sides of the wire. Secure with tape. Do this twice. Now, cut off a piece of the plastic bag and pull it tightly over the whole wire-tissue contraption. Tape it on the backside, tightly. If there are wrinkles in the skin when you face it right side towards you, bend it just a little, creating something reminiscent of a bent knee, to pull it smooth. Cover both legs, and at the wider end (where the bend in the wire is) color the bottom 3/4"s black with the permanent marker. Somehow, secure the leg to the styrofoam. While making it, I put in an extra piece of thin wire about three inches and left it hanging, made a whole with it, then glue gunned it in there.

3. Make arms the same way, but thinner, and using only 10" of wire for each arm, so they should come out to be about 5" long. Now, using the clay, form hands out of a ball 3/4" thick for each hand. Shape a thumb and two fingers. Right now, you might want to form a tongue too out of the green clay. Make it 1 1/2" inches long and about 1/4" thick. Bake these until hard, and glue-gun the hands to the end of the arms. Now attach them using the same method you used to form the legs.

4. Whoops, I forgot the ears! Use the extra piece of pipe-cleaner. Cut a piece about 3 inches thick, shape it like a triangle with one side missing, and stick it in the head 2 inches back from where the eye-space is. Repeat with the other ear.

5. Now, cut a piece of paper in the shape of an eye. If your creature is a girl, make the eyes brown. If it is a boy, color them light blue. Glue gun them in the appointed spaces.

6. Now, cut the mouth! It should have a big smile to creep you out. The lips are green, and lightly shade the inside of the mouth purple. When you have colored it, take the scissors or some sharp object (you might need parent supervision) and after placing the cut-out mouth in it's space, make a slit where you want the tongue to come out of, that goes into the styrofoam. Take the mouth away and deepen the slot. Practice sticking the tongue in it. Now glue-gun on the paper mouth, and put some glue on the end of the tongue. Stick it into the slot.

7. For the bladder, make a little hole. You're done.

8. Yay, now you have your creature! I hope your desk didn't get too scratched up (don't attempt this on wooden surface). Or your nails and arms. Because mine did.

9. Since it won't stand upright by itself,  you may have to build a stand. This is hard to accomplish with wire. After you're done, you may want to (like I did) make a bracelet that says, "Careful! My stand isn't attached to me!" on a little piece of paper.

FAQ: 

Question: You forgot the nose!
Answer: That's not a question! But, it's because the creature is not a predator, or a prey, since they are photosynthetic but very strong. They didn't develop a nose because they didn't need to be warned about anything or sniff out food.

Question: Why does my grapefruit look so limp?
Answer: You may want to bend it's arms in creative shapes or make a stand to hold it up.

Question: I'm mortally wounded because of the pipe-cleaners. What should I do?
Answer: I don't know. I only got scratched a lot.